- Islamic Education / Children education in Islam
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- Chidren education 2008
Learning the art of speaking is essential in social education:
Dear brother, this is lesson No. 22 of the series “The Education of Children in Islam” and we are still tackling the social education.
One of the most important issues regarding social education is to teach your son the art of speaking because man is honored by Allah with the grace of eloquent speech.
Allah says:
﴾The Most Beneficent (Allah)! Has taught (you mankind) the Qur'an (by His Mercy). He created man. He taught him eloquent speech.﴿
What catches one’s attention is that in one of the westerns countries, where there are thousands of universities, they teach public speech in all majors, faculties, levels and study years, and when I asked a person who teaches there he said: “This is because they believe that every person who receives knowledge must teach this knowledge to sh3er down the road.”
Therefore public speech is part of any knowledge, and sometimes you may find a young man whom Allah blessed with smartness and a good memory but it is a shame when he can’t say one word.
Eloquence is a characteristic of educated people:
Hence, one of the sides of social education is teaching your son the art of speaking. How does he speak?
How can he express his thoughts? How can he behave?
Our master Umar, May Allah be pleased with him said: “Learn Arabic for it is part of our religion”.
It bewilders me to see a young man with a PHD, Board certificate or university graduate degree, yet he can’t read one page from Quran without committing tens of mistakes.
It is said: “Man’s eloquence adorns him”
Eloquence is one of the characteristics of the educated man, so when the father neglects the language of his children, when he is not concerned about the way they express themselves and when he allows them to speak the street slang, filthy words, harsh expressions or idioms, he will be taking away from them any chances of getting any position among the educated people.
On the other hand, the believer father looks after the Arabic language of his children because the Noble Quran is in Arabic.
Instructing children to use simple Arabic Language:
The topic today: How can you instruct your child in public speaking?
Of course there is the mild eloquent Arabic and the very eloquent Arabic which I refuse to be used.
A man fell of his camel, and the children gathered around him, he said to them: What is it with you? You gather around me as you would gather around someone who is possessed. Scatter away. (The words used in Arabic are not common words, (and cannot be translated).
Also there is the street slang which is also not accepted. Therefore, the language I am talking about is the simple clear eloquent one which we can use in our daily life.
For example: you don’t say: “I didn’t know what hit me” but rather you say: “I didn’t know what happened to me.”
Some expressions belong to idioms, and when the educated man uses these expressions, his education level will become lower.
Accordingly, the father should instruct his children and the teacher should instruct his students to use the simple eloquent Arabic language and to stay away from the highly eloquent one and the slang.
This is the first fact.
Wloquent Arabic is used according to the due situation:
Nevertheless, there is a rule in the eloquent speech, for the eloquent speech should consider the situation, and the clearest example is the following: when you assign a little child to buy a stamp, to put it on the envelope and to place the envelope in the mail box, you say to him: “Go to this store, buy a stamp for one Lira, lick it (or dampen it with your saliva) , put it on the envelope, press on it firmly, go to the mail box and make sure that you put it inside it.
However, if you assign an adult to that mission, all you have to do is just giving him the letter with the money and ask him to mail it and he will be in no need for all the previous details.
The same goes for the eloquent speech, for it should consider the situation, so if someone asks you about the time, you say to him: “By Allah it is 8 O’clock”, you don’t have to swear here, because he is not accusing you of lying, and you may swear only if he does, thus swearing, resorting to assertion, going into details or giving brevity are considered as flaws in the speech.
Man sometimes mentions meaningless details like saying: “I went to meet the minister, I waited two hours, I sat in the waiting room and a man in the room said so and so…” None of what he said concerns me, all I need to know is what he said to the minister when he met him? All the insignificant details he mentions at length have nothing to do with the main point.
Arabic is the language of Quran:
The educated attentive father listens carefully to the speech of his children and he instructs them by saying: “Don’t go into details here, for they are but an overload to the main topic” “Use this word not that one” and so forth.
There are a lot of common errors in speaking.
For example, you don’t say in Arabic “Ana Muwalla’“ (I am in love) because this word means “the red bull”, but rather you should say; “Ana Moola’” which means “I am in love” and there is a big difference between “Muwalla’” and Moola’”.
In another example one might say: I have “Tajarob” instead of “Tajareb”, and this slight difference in pronunciation gives different meanings, for the first one means that I was afflicted with “Jarab” (Mange) whereas the second one means “I have wide experience” which is the intended meaning.
Others also might say: This doctor is “Akhissa’ee” instead of “Ikhtisasi”, also there is a big difference between the two for the first one means “castration” whereas the second means “specialist”.
Therefore, there are a lot of common errors in the Arabic language which is the language of the noble Quran, of Islam and of this Ummah (nation) that is chosen by Allah to be a moderate nation between Him and His servants.
Eloquence lifts the value of the educated person:
Again, Our master Umar, May Allah be pleased with him said: “Learn Arabic for it is part of our religion”.
One might say: “I am not an Arabic teacher” but who says that you should be one, but you are a Muslim and a believer and thus you should master the Arabic language.
I hope that you bring to your houses books of Arabic grammar and literature so that the father will be able to look after his children’s language, for eloquence exalts the value of the educated person.
Considering the situation is essential in eloquence, for sometimes you may sit with simple people, who are unable to comprehend a complicated thought, but they can understand a simple story, in this case you should express your thoughts through a story and there are stories which have a great effect on the listener.
Therefore, the speaker might use the story or the example in his speech.
Eloquent language and using different kinds of expression:
The prophet PBUH said:
((Minor sins are no longer minor with determination (repeating doing them) and major sins are forgiven by asking Allah’s forgiveness))
You are driving your car on a road where there is a deep valley on the right side and another deep valley on the left side , so the major sins are like turning the steering wheel suddenly 90 degrees, you can reverse the effect by turning it back and staying on the road, \ whereas the minor sins are like turning the steering wheel only one inch, and that will move the car slowly from the middle of the road to the right and into the valley
This example can explain to simple people the following Hadith:
((Minor sins are no longer minor with determination (repeating doing them) and major sins are forgiven by asking Allah’s forgiveness))
A pious man got married, but after five months of their marriage, she was in her ninth month of pregnancy (obviously from another man prior her marriage). he had the choice of either divorcing her, which was fair, or scandalizing her and it was fair as well, and by explaining the reason, no one will go against him, not even her family. Yet, he wanted to give her a chance to repent, so he brought a midwife to deliver her baby. After that, he took the baby under his garment, he stood in front of Masjid Al-Ward, he waited till the Imam started praying, and he put the baby by the door and went in to pray with the rest. Upon finishing Salah, the baby cried, so all the people gathered around him, and at that moment, he joined the crowd wondering about the matter. They said, "Come and see for yourself; it is an abandoned baby". he said, "Give him to me I will sponsor him and raise him as my own", so he took him, witnessed by all the people in the neighborhood, and he gave him back to his mother. He was an abandoned baby in the eyes of the neighbors. This story starts when the Imam of a very famous Masjid called "Al-Ward" dreamed of the Prophet, peace be upon him, telling him, "Tell your neighbor that he is my companion in Paradise."
Whoever complains to me about doubting his wife’s behavior, I tell him this story.
People comprehend complicated thoughts through a moral story, an example, wisdom, a quote, poetry or anecdotes, so if someone is gifted with eloquence, he should use all sorts of expressions such like the quote, the story, the example, the proof or the anecdote as a frame of his speech.
We should master Arabic because it is the language of Quran:
I hope that you will consider learning the Arabic language even if your major is architecture or medicine, for this is the language of the noble Quran and the acts of worship.
Sometimes, changing one diacritical mark makes a terrible mistake. For example, once a man made a big mistake when quoting a line of poetry (from our master Khbaib Bin Adi may Allah be pleased with him) he said:
I don't care if I kill ((which is in Arabic: Aqtulu)) a Muslim
On any side (of my body) I may be killed in Allah's Cause.
***
While the original poem is:
I don't care if I am killed as (which is in Arabic: uqtalu) a Muslim
On any side (of my body) I may be killed in Allah's Cause.
***
Thus, changing only one diacritical mark distorts the meaning seriously, and it might make man end up in hellfire instead of paradise.
By Allah dear brother, we are honored with this language.
For example, The verb ra'a and nathara. The verb ra'a gives the meaning of perceiving something with your heart.
The prophet PBUH said:
((Talk to people as long as they are glancing))
Now the verb “Rana” (looks at the sea, or at a green land) is seeing with pleasure because he enjoys the scene.
The verb “Shakhasa” means to look with fear.
﴾You shall see the eyes of the disbelievers fixedly stare in horror.﴿
Let us say that there is a student who does not know any other synonym for the verb ra'a (see). Another synonym is the verb shahada (witness) which gives a sense of responsibility. The verb haddaja means that someone looks at people affectionately; it was reported in the relic, "Talk to people as long as they haddajoka by their eyes showing their interest in what you say", and the verb ramaqa means glance furtively. The verb lamah (glance at-glimpse) means someone looks briefly or hastily at something, then he turns his head quickly, and the verb laha means that something appears for seconds, and then disappears.
The verb Tawadhaha means someone looks at something to make sure that this is what he wants, the verb istashrafa means that someone looks at something while putting his hands on his eyebrows and the verb istashaffa means that he perceives something with his senses; he looks at and feels it at the same time. The verb hamlaqa means that someone looks at something showing the interior eyelid of his eyes, the verb shazara (leer at) means that someone looks at other people disrespectfully and with hostility and the verb shakhasa means that someone looks with horror and fear.
Notice how there are more than 100 synonyms; each synonym refer to a specific meaning and situation of an-nathar (looking). Thus, whoever knows many synonyms, his style of writing will be more impressive. Consider the example of a painter; if you ask him to paint natural scenery using only two colors, the painting will not be as wonderful as it will be if you let him use five colors. Also, it will be more fascinating if he uses 100 colors. Similarly, the more vocabulary you know the more effective your style will be.
This is the language of the noble Quran and the language of the master of mankind (i.e. the prophet PBUH) so it is seemly for every Muslim to master it.
We should be proud of the eloquent child:
It bewilders my mind to know what man can do with his spare time? He might read a book about the Arabic language, Arabic literature, listen to the eloquent Arabic or read Quran with a loud voice while paying attention to all the diacritical marks; therefore, there are lots of activities to enhance man’s Arabic language.
It was narrated that a delegation from Hijaz came to our master Umar Ibn Abdulaziz, and it was preceded by an 11-year-old boy which annoyed Umar as he considered that an insult. The boy entered to speak on behalf of the delegation, but Umar said to him, "Sit down boy, and let somebody older than you speak." The boy smiled and said, "May Allah guide the Ameer (The Commander of the Believers)! Man’s capacity is measured by two small parts of his body: his heart and his tongue. Indeed, If Allah blesses a servant with an eloquent tongue and a faithful heart, he deserves to speak. If it had been a matter of age, then many other Muslims would have been worthier of the Khilafah than you."!" This is eloquence of the best kind.
Another young man headed a delegaation that came to Abd Al Malek Ibn Marwan, a great Omayyad caliph, so the Caliph was angry and scolded his chamberlain in these words: ‘Everybody who wants to enter is allowed, even young men"? The young man smiled and said: ‘May Allah perfect the Caliph, my coming into your presence does not dishonor you, but honors me. We suffered a year that dissolved the fat, and a year that went away with the flesh, and a year that thinned the bones, and you have surplus money. If this money is ours, then why do you keep it from us?" And if it is yours, then be charitable to us. And if it belongs to Allah, then we are His servants’. So the Caliph said: ‘By Allah the boy didn’t leave us any excuse’.
Once our master Omar was walking in Medina, children who were playing saw him and feared him and ran away, all except for one. He was curious so he asked the boy: ‘Why didn’t you run when the sh3er did"’. The boy said: ‘O Emir, you are not unjust so I fear your injustice, neither am I guilty so I fear your punishment, and the street is wide enough for the both of us’.
When you see your son so eloquent, a good speaker and can put forth strong proofs you will be proud of him, but he needs to strengthen his Arabic language.
We should consider the situation when we talk to sh3er:
Considering the situation in eloquence is like when you speak to a non-Muslim, in this case you can’t say to him: “Allah the Almighty said so and so” or “the prophet PBUH said so and so” because he doesn’t believe in the Quran. He might be non-Muslim, but he is highly educated, in this case you can put forth scientific evidences to persuade him. As for speaking to a Muslim, in this case you can use proofs from Quran and Sunnah which is also part of considering the situation.
I once read one of the books of the seventh grade, and an outstanding elegiac poetry in the wife which caught my attention, but what does the seventh grader know about the feeling of the husband towards his wife? He has never got married, so it was unsuitable, and they might have put elegiac poetry in the mother or the brother but not the wife.
This whole topic is out of this student’s concern, so in this case we say that the author of the book didn’t consider the situation, for he is addressing a child in the seventh grade who knows only his mother, sister, brother and father but he has never got married to know how the husband feels towards his wife.
Sometimes words don’t serve the surrounding environment; take for example the following poetry which was in a book we used to study in the university:
Salma is created from cane
Sugarcane not camel’s bones
And if you approach her with an onion in hand
Her musk smell will cover the onion smell
What kind of love poetry is this? It talks about sugarcane and camel’s bones, so it is more like kitchen poetry, so the words don’t consider the situation.
I hope that people’s taste in the Arabic language becomes transcendent, in the sense that when someone reads poetry and likes it, he writes it down, or when he reads a quote or an outstanding phrase, he also writes it down.
Unless you read literature and write down sentences, phrases, examples, poem, quotes, comments and outstanding vocabularies, your language will not be enhanced.
Don't mention what is obvious without mentioning:
Dear brother, some words are considered as redundancy, and it is the kind of words which reach you even if they are not said, this means that any words, which can be understood without mentioning them, should not be mentioned. Allah says:
﴾ And the king (of Egypt) said: "Verily, I saw (in a dream) seven fat cows, whom seven lean ones were devouring - and of seven green ears of corn, and (seven) sh3er dry. O notables! Explain to me my dream, if it be that you can interpret dreams."﴿
One of them said:
﴾ "I will tell you its interpretation, so send me forth." ﴿
Allah doesn’t mention the details like: the king sent this messenger, and this messenger came to the prison and he entered the jail and met our Master Yusuf, yet these details are understood even though they are not mentioned.
﴾ "I will tell you its interpretation, so send me forth." ﴿:
﴾ (He said): "O Yusuf (Joseph), the man of truth! Explain to us (the dream)﴿
Any words between two sentences are redundancy and it doesn’t exist in Quran.
It was reported that our master Abu Bakr As-Sideeq, May Allah be pleased with him, said: “May Allah make bright the face of the one who talks briefly and mentions his need only”
Speech might include redundancy (boring details) or flawed brevity, whereas eloquence is in the middle between the two.
Organized speech helps in memorization and expression:
A president of a powerful country was once asked: “How much time does it take you to prepare a five minutes speech?” He answered: “It takes me three days” then he was asked: “How much time do you take in preparing a one hour speech?” He answered: “One hour” then he was asked again: “How much time do you take in preparing a three hours speech” he answered: “I never prepare for it, because it is three hours of random notions”.
A man attended Friday prayer once, and he swore to me that the Khatib mentioned 29 topics and he never tackled not even one of them, simply because he didn’t prepare any topic in particular, so he spoke randomly whatever crossed his mind.
Man should prepare his speech, and in order to have a successful speech, eloquence won’t be enough, but he should prepare, put his thoughts in order, put headlines for the topic and prepare proofs in a historical order, an objective order or a personal order, so even if he moves from a poetry to anther or from an era to another or from an issue to another, this move will be smooth and clear and includes an introduction, showcasing of the idea, proofs of it and then he establishes a connection between it and the next idea.
This kind of preparation makes sh3er memorize your speech.
You should consider these subtle matters in composition.
Rich vocabulary helps in using language artistically:
A student may read a lot, yet he gets low scores in the exam, why? It is because he has never trained himself to write during the study year, so he knows so many vocabularies and he will recognize them when he sees them but he can’t use or recall them if he went blank in the exam.
Hence, though he is rich in vocabularies, he is poor in recalling them. Training yourself through writing helps you enhance your writing style which needs a rich vocabulary.
If I give you only two colors: white and black, then I ask you to paint a beautiful natural scene which includes green grass, red roses, a beautiful house with red bricks and blue brook, but you have only two colors, in this case they are not enough to draw and paint this beautiful scene, but if you have one hundred colors like light green and dark green and a lot of other colors, the painting will be outstanding.
The same goes for words, and the more words you know the more eloquent your style will become.
Once a tiny recorder was inserted in the chest of an 80 year old illiterate man, and the experimenter noticed that he used only 300 words in all of his speech, whereas the highly educated man could use 1.500 words If you enrich the vocabulary you know and keep beautiful expressions by heart, your style of writing will be better.
The prudent is the one who advises people concisely:
A man asked the prophet PBUH to preach him briefly, so the prophet PBUH reauthord the following Ayah:
﴾ So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it. And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it. ﴿
The man then said: “This is enough for me” so the prophet PBUH said: “This man is Faqeeh (knowledgeable).
The least words with the most clarity is the best form of expression.
Allah says:
﴾ Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you. ﴿
This Ayah is enough.
﴾ Verily, your Lord is Ever Watchful (over them). ﴿
What is eloquence:
Some Ayat in the Quran are powerful enough to such an extent that they will be enough if they are the only ones
in the Quran.
As I mentioned earlier, eloquence is in the middle between the flawed brevity and the boring redundancy.
On the other hand some brief sentences might be very eloquent:
﴾ When that covered the lote-tree which did cover it! ﴿
This is the rich brevity, for it is covered with revelations, lights, serenity, tranquility and happiness:
﴾ When that covered the lote-tree which did cover it! ﴿:
﴾ The sight (of Prophet Muhammad) turned not aside (right or left), nor it transgressed beyond (the) limit (ordained for it).﴿
Ibn Mas’ood, May Allah be pleased with him, used to remind some companions (of Allah and religion) every Thursday, so one of them said to him once: “O father of Abdul Rahman, we wish that you remind us every day” to which he answered: “I wish that too, but I don’t want to bore you”
The prophet PBUH used to preach his companions occasionally.
Be moderate in your words and don’t preach a lot nor give too much advise, for too much talking could cause boredom , but also not saying enough is a problem as well, so man should be moderate.
A brother said to me once: “A man proposed to my daughter and he was a very good person, but when they were engaged, he used to talk to my daughter 13 hours straight in one phone call, but then two years later after marriage, he barely says a word”.
Again, eloquence is in the middle between the boring redundancy and flawed brevity (or silence).
Great people are usually frolicsome:
As a father, as a mother or as a teacher, sit at the table for a meal when you long for food, and leave the table while you still long for food, and talk to people as long as they yearn to listen to you, and stop talking while they still yearn to listen to more of your talking, and therein lies success.
Your mission as a father is not only to instruct and preach your children, for they will get bored, so make your advices like the salt in food, for if it is excessive the food will be spoiled.
Our master Ali said: “Rest your hearts and let them partake of wisdom, for they do get bored, just like your bodies do”.
Believe me the successful father is humorous at home and he jokes with his children and wife and spreads joy in the house, given humor is one of the characteristics of the great people.
Some jokes are outstanding. Sometimes one cartoon is enough to pass on to you in seconds what 200 words can do.
A king was wandering in his kingdom, and he stepped into a garden where he found a blindfolded horse with a bell on his head. The horse was turning around a water well (to bring out water), so the king asked the owner of the garden, why did you blindfold him ? The owner answered: “So that it won’t become dizzy” well that was a convincing answer, then the king asked again: “And what is the bell for?”, the owner said: “If it stops I will know” then the king thought a little bit then asked: “So what if the horse stops and shakes its head, the owner said to the king: “Do you think the horse has a brain like yours?”
Do you believe that some factory owners look for a worker who is smart, wise and educated and they offer him only 5000, well had this person existed, he would have opened his own factory, so don’t demand people to be like you.
Also the man, who wanted once to start a family and proposed to a woman, was still young and poor and lived in a leased house, but then he became rich, so why does he demand the man who proposes to his daughter to be rich and to have his own house in the middle of the capital. When you were his age, you didn’t own a house, but now after you became rich and powerful, you demand sh3er of the impossible.
Play with your children and spend time with them:
The prophet PBUH was humorous, but he was truthful in his joking.
I expressed once my disappointment when the brother don’t give full attention to my lecture, and I told them this story: A Dai’yah was talking to Muslims about the mischief in the society and he said: “Is it rational that a young woman comes back home at 2:00 AM, where was she? Of course she was with “Al Habeeb” (which means her lover but “Al Habeeb” also refers to the prophet PBUH [The beloved])” when the attendants heard the word “Al Habeeb” They sent prayers to the prophet PBUH. This means that they were not listening at all to the story.
Humor rejuvenates the energy of the family members, so I am addressing the parents now (the father and the mother), it is unacceptable that the father spends his time at home in oppressing, suppressing, badmouthing his children and calling them names, instead he should talk to them, laugh with them and show them humor, so let your arrival to your house be like an Eid for your children and don’t be like other fathers whose leaving is an Eid for children.
It is all up to you dear brother, and you can make your house like a paradise and you can make your children love you to such an extent that they will be waiting for you impatiently.
This topic is a long one and I will carry on next lecture.
